Just Listen
Why this matters: When someone is experiencing trauma, it can be easy for others to jump to offering solutions or attempt to fix the situation directly. But many times the most important thing we can do is simply listen and acknowledge the person’s pain and humanity. Too often, survivors of domestic violence are not believed or are told indirectly and even directly that the situation is their fault. This can make them feel isolated and alone and prevent them from reaching out for support. By just listening, we can show care and understanding, and help each other to feel seen and heard. This can be an important step in someone’s healing process and in preventing future harm.
“Listen to understand what a survivor actually wants for themselves.”
Join us: If you’re sharing about your own experience, remember it’s okay to ask for what you need. You can ask your friend to “just listen.
Let’s practice active and supportive listening. When someone is confiding in you, focus on them, not on your own thoughts, feelings, and reactions.
Here are some tips on how to practice active listening. Remember: Don’t worry about having a perfect response. Prioritize being present and offering a safe and non-judgemental space. Focus on trying to understand and offering compassion.
It’s natural to jump right to solutions and “shoulds”. Try listening without offering suggestions. Try asking your friend if they want you just to listen or if they want to explore problem solving with you.
Try saying you don’t have all the answers, but that you care.
Try saying things that might seem like clichés, but can ease someone’s fears at a time when they’re feeling vulnerable: “I’m not judging you.” “I see you.” “I wish I could make this easier for you.”
Try being ok with pauses or silence.
Try not expecting a specific outcome. The win is the conversation and an opening to talk about it again.
Through our partnership with BART, Let’s Talk About Us will reach thousands of passengers each day in more than one dozen stations systemwide, onboard trains serving each BART line, and on bus shelters and billboards in 5 neighborhoods including Chinatown, SoMa and the Mission.
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Use the free BART Watch app to send a private message to police dispatch. An anonymous feature is available. Location services are enabled on the app but can be disabled in “permissions.” When enabled, your location is provided to police dispatch when you submit a report via the app.
Use the train intercom button to speak to the train operator. The call button is along the side platform doors of new Fleet of the Future cars, and at the end doors, near where you walk from one car into another, on the older legacy cars. On Fleet of the Future cars, the train operator will get an automatic video feed inside your train car when the intercom button is pressed. Older legacy cars do not have this feature.
Use the white phones located on the platforms to connect to a station agent. This phone will roll over to the Operations Control Center which is staffed 24/7.
Seek out any BART employee. Look for employees with a BART logo on their uniform. Frontline employees have received training on handling crisis incidents.
Call BART Police dispatch at 510-464-7000. You will speak to a police dispatcher. Always call this number or 911 for crimes in progress or emergencies.
Text BART Police dispatch at 510-200-0992.