Love Shouldn’t Hurt
Why this matters: The ones closest to us should be the ones we treat most tenderly. Care should not be conditional—not dependent on what we achieve, how we look, how obedient we are, or what mood someone is in. But oftentimes, the people who hurt us are the people closest to us, and we learn that fear and hurt are part of love. If we learn this when we are young, we are likely to carry it into our adult relationships.
“Many of our families who come from DV situations may only know aggression or at least more aggressive ways of interacting with one another, and it’s hard to shift those ways of communicating. But by helping expand their parenting skill sets to encompass a variety of techniques so that physical and verbal harm is not the first choice for both parents and children, we create hope, a new way of living, and a journey forward.”
Join us: There is a way to build trust and safety into our relationships, whether it’s relationships between parents and children, or relationships between intimate partners.
We can choose to show our best selves to the people who love us the most. We can teach young people that they can expect patience and gentleness, not aggression, from us and from their future partner.
Here are some tips on parenting young people with violence prevention in mind. Remember: You’re human and change doesn’t happen overnight. It’s okay to make mistakes.
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Children are not just small adults. Their brains and bodies are still developing and they may act in ways that seem illogical or even insulting. Try to have patience as they respond to the world.
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Things may make sense to you as an adult but the world can be confusing for a child. They often don’t understand why rules and limits are necessary, so be ready to explain why you’re setting the rules that you are.
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A small incident can feel overwhelming for young children and they may have strong emotional reactions. Let them know that big feelings are okay and they’re in a safe environment to feel them.
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Let your child know what they can do rather than what they cannot do. Redirect children to another object or topic when they become overwhelmed rather than yelling or hitting for them to stop
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Parenting is hard and constant! Know that it is OKAY to make mistakes because there is no such thing as a perfect parent. You are only human. It is important to acknowledge the hurt that may have been caused and give yourself the space to move on.
Here are some tips on supporting youth to learn how love shouldn’t hurt. Children and teens learn about relationships from what they see around them, including from you.
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You, like many parents in our communities, might never have had dating relationships in your life and feel uncomfortable with the topic. That’s okay! Try talking with your teenager anyway, or find other resources that can help your teen be safe and supported.ext goes here
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If you’re a trusted adult to a teen, congratulations! Tell them they can share their relationship experiences and questions with you and that you care about them.
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There is a lot of hurt that happens online, often in the guise of love, tough love, or brutal honesty. Support teens to analyze the online content they see, and to share support and positivity with each other.
Through our partnership with BART, Let’s Talk About Us will reach thousands of passengers each day in more than one dozen stations systemwide, onboard trains serving each BART line, and on bus shelters and billboards in 5 neighborhoods including Chinatown, SoMa and the Mission.
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Use the free BART Watch app to send a private message to police dispatch. An anonymous feature is available. Location services are enabled on the app but can be disabled in “permissions.” When enabled, your location is provided to police dispatch when you submit a report via the app.
Use the train intercom button to speak to the train operator. The call button is along the side platform doors of new Fleet of the Future cars, and at the end doors, near where you walk from one car into another, on the older legacy cars. On Fleet of the Future cars, the train operator will get an automatic video feed inside your train car when the intercom button is pressed. Older legacy cars do not have this feature.
Use the white phones located on the platforms to connect to a station agent. This phone will roll over to the Operations Control Center which is staffed 24/7.
Seek out any BART employee. Look for employees with a BART logo on their uniform. Frontline employees have received training on handling crisis incidents.
Call BART Police dispatch at 510-464-7000. You will speak to a police dispatcher. Always call this number or 911 for crimes in progress or emergencies.
Text BART Police dispatch at 510-200-0992.